Dog Tales
by Pos-sess-ed1
Summary: A collection of Sess/Kag oneshots submitted to Dokuga Contest on Livejournal, each over 500 words in length. Ratings vary from K to T. Most are humor but there are other genres thrown in. Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi, I make no profit from these.
1. Checkmate

**Prompt:** Trap  
**Genre:** Drama, Humor  
**Rating:** T

"Inuyasha! SIT!"

A feminine voice rife with anger and frustration rang out. The command and resulting thud resonated through the forest. The vibrations of the resulting impact shook the ground. Birds and mammals fled, seeking more peaceful surroundings.

Kagome hitched her backpack up and stalked around the deep crater containing a certain hanyou. She fumed as she marched toward the Bone Eater's Well. For three years now they fought about her trips home. It was beyond getting old. Caught up in anger, she didn't notice the presence of the Daiyoukai until she almost ran right into his person.

She stepped back in surprise. Why was he here? He usually avoided Inuyasha's Forest.

"Miko," his rich deep voice said smoothly, "I would speak with you."

Before she could answer, another voice cut across the small clearing.

"Oi! Get away from her, ya bastard!" Inuyasha had recovered from his 'sitting' and was charging towards them, drawing his sword as he ran.

"Put your sword away, half-breed. My business is with the woman." His imperious tone and manner dismissed Inuyasha's challenge outright.

"My NAME is Ka-go-me!" she replied tersely. She normally held a great deal of respect for Sesshoumaru, and not a small amount of fear, but her anger hadn't dissipated yet. It made her slightly reckless… a bit less tolerant than usual.

"Like _hell_ it is Sesshoumaru! I'm gonna slice you to pieces!" Inuyasha was almost upon them

Kagome was all out of patience with her friend. She was curious and wanted to hear what the demon lord had to say, but that was never going to happen with the hanyou's current attitude. Turning her head toward him, she once again said the dreaded word.

"SIT!"

Inuyasha hit the ground a few feet from where she stood. The impact made her stagger slightly. She turned her attention to the demon in front of her, just missing the ghost of a smile cross his lips as he watched her handle his half-brother. She was in no mood to be trifled with. She stared at him impudently with her dark blue eyes.

"You wanted something?" she stated bluntly. His amber eyes narrowed at her blatant disrespect.

"Indeed."

Silence, save for the muffled noises coming from behind her.

She sighed. Taking a more conciliatory tone, she said, "Sesshoumaru-sama, he's not going to stay that way forever, and I was on my way home, so if you could just say whatever it is…"

"Rin needs a human female's influence. You will fulfill that role."

Kagome's jaw dropped. The noises coming from the half demon became louder and angrier. Inuyasha pulled free of the subjugation spell.

"Like hell she will!" he snarled. In one swift motion, he yanked Kagome behind him.

Sesshoumaru stepped back and pulled Tokijin from his sash. The two brothers leaped at each other, blades clashing. The impact and resulting power surge threw them far apart.

Kagome moved quickly to get out of the way. She had seen these two battle many times before and knew better than to intervene. In fact, there was no reason for her to stay and watch. Sesshoumaru wouldn't kill Inuyasha, and Inuyasha couldn't kill Sesshoumaru.

She began making her way cautiously toward the well as the battle raged on without her. She almost made it when Inuyasha suddenly saw her intention. He broke off the encounter by turning his back to his brother's attack, and ran toward the well to head her off. Just as the hanyou took off in her direction, Sesshoumaru released the terrible power of the Dragon Strike.

The crushing wave tore through the landscape, tossing aside dirt, boulders and trees. Inuyasha dropped Tessusaiga and threw Kagome to the side, just as the strike reached the well, obliterating it.

Dead silence, and a charred scent hung in the air.

Inuyasha, having successfully shielded Kagome with his body, now rose from the ground, helping her up. They both stared in shock at the devastation greeting their eyes. Kagome gasped. Where the well once stood, there was now only gouged earth. Not even a splinter remained.

In disbelief, she turned slowly to face the Daiyoukai, standing a short distance away.

"You…" she choked out.

Inuyasha whirled around. "You BASTARD! Look what you've done! You destroyed her way home!"

"You should not have turned your back on me." Sesshoumaru said placidly.

"Why you…" Inuyasha leaped at him, eyes bleeding red, long, sharp claws extended.

Sesshoumaru waited patiently for the impulsive attack. He timed his response perfectly, grabbing the hanyou's haori and using the momentum of the rush, threw him headfirst into a nearby tree. Inuyasha slid to the ground, senseless.

Sesshoumaru approached Kagome slowly. She watched him advance, her shock burning away as her temper and her anger rose. She stared up at him unflinchingly, as he stood before her.

"You destroyed my way home!" she seethed.

He just stared at her. His face betrayed no emotion.

"The village is not your home?" he inquired calmly.

"NO!" she replied heatedly. "My home lies beyond the well! The one you just eliminated!"

"There is no other way for you to reach your family?"

He was unapologetic and showed no remorse. His unrepentant behavior angered Kagome further.

"The only known way was _through that well_. Now that it's gone, I can't reach my family, and it's All. Your. Fault!" She ground the words out through clenched teeth.

A small smile graced the dog demon's beautiful features. Kagome's anger died instantly, and she became alarmed. She'd never seen him smile before and she wasn't sure she liked it.

"What you say is true. I alone am responsible for destroying the only way back to your family."

Warning bells were going off in Kagome's head. He was saying exactly what she wanted to hear, so why did it sound so… ominous? She looked at him suspiciously.

"Right," she said cautiously, "you're responsible,"

She felt like she was saying all the wrong things.

"Then I am honor bound to see to your protection until I can return you safely to your family."

With that, he stepped to her side and wrapped his arm tightly around her tiny waist. Vapor formed rapidly at their feet, taking them aloft.

Too late, Kagome realized he had carefully planned the whole encounter. She'd played right into his hands by allowing her own words to trap her.

She looked down at the receding figure of her friend in red, unconscious on the ground, and wondered how she was going to get out of this predicament.

**A/N:** This was written Sept. 16 2008. I think I've improved in my writing and style since then so I cringe to look at it now. I still like the idea though. Thanks for reading!


	2. Pit Stop

**Prompt:** Mixed Up  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** T  
**Warning:** Potty humor 

The jumbo cup of coffee had not been a good idea. He had to pull into one of those roadside gas station/convenience stores for an emergency pit stop.

Kagome didn't have to go, so she decided to peruse the aisles to see if they carried any pocky in her favorite flavors. Sesshoumaru made his way through the store to the back where the restrooms were normally located. Hurrying to take care of his basic bodily function, he moved into the dimly-lit narrow hallway. Glancing at the first door, he saw MEN and pushed the door open.

Once inside the bright tiled room, he looked for the usual bank of urinals, but didn't see them. Instead, a row of stalls greeted his eyes.

Hn.

The emasculation of males was getting out of hand. What kind of a men's room needed this level of privacy? Men now needed to hide behind locked doors to urinate?

The pressure in his bladder wouldn't allow him to think on it further. Choosing the first stall, he moved inside, closed the door and locked it. One hand on the wall, the other guiding the stream, he experienced the sweet feeling of relief that comes when one has finally stopped ignoring the urgent need to pee. Halfway through, he heard the outer door open.

The unmistakable clicking of high-heels assaulted his ears and put his senses on red alert.

There was a female in the men's room!

Sesshoumaru knew a number of women thought him attractive. He found their attentions bothersome and annoying, but rarely did one intrude on his personal space to this level! Unable to stop in mid-stream, he clenched his teeth and glared up at the top of the stall, waiting for her head to pop over for a peep at his package. Instead, he heard the sound of running water. She was washing her hands…

Finished, he quickly tucked, zipped and flushed. Opening the stall door, he readied himself for a confrontation. Shock registered on the woman's face as he stepped out and walked to the sink.

"_You_ are in the wrong room," the demon said flatly as he washed his hands.

Shock fled as righteous indignation took its place.

**_"You're_** a little mixed-up!" the woman replied angrily.

Yanking the bathroom door open, she pointed to the symbol on it.

It was a generic figure, wearing a dress... clearly female. The word above it did say MEN, but he could now see the WO had been broken off at some point.

His blood ran cold as the full impact of the ramifications fell into place. Excusing himself, he quickly strode past her and made his way to the front of the building. Thankfully Kagome was in the car and ready to go.

As he got into the driver's seat, he could see the woman inside viciously gesturing toward him and complaining to the manager.

Throwing the car into reverse he backed up, slammed the car into drive, and left the parking lot in a cloud of dust. Kagome glanced over, wondering what had brought this on.

Seeing the tic in his jaw, she wisely decided to not ask.

A/N: This was written Oct. 8, 2008. Still makes me giggle, for some reason. Thanks for reading!


	3. A Woman's Touch

**Prompt:** Feminine  
**Genre:** Romance  
**Rating:** T

To a dog demon, actions always speak louder than words, so when he wished to know what she was feeling, he didn't listen to her speech, he closely watched her hands. She was not aware of it, but they eloquently spoke volumes to his discerning eye.

Though her hands possessed great power, they appeared deceptively delicate and utterly feminine. They were exquisitely small but incredibly strong and beautifully shaped. Her fingers were long, slender and elegantly tapered, each one tipped by a neatly trimmed nail. Those expressive appendages conveyed more information to him than she ever would have believed possible.

When she was happy, they fluttered in front of her like graceful birds, enticing one and all to come and join with her in celebration. Excited, she gestured, waved and clapped; it was an endearing facet of her buoyant nature. How could anyone help but be drawn in and experience the joy they displayed?

If she was enraged, they transformed into tightly clenched fists, balled up and locked down at her sides on ramrod-straight arms. Though she was not normally a violent person, she had quite a formidable temper if push came to shove. She would not hesitate to strike hard blows with her hands if it became necessary to protect someone she loved. She was not a meek girl who would stand by helplessly when her friends came under attack.

Those hands were also adequately skilled at wielding a weapon. He personally witnessed her take deadly aim and deliver a fatal shot when using the bow and arrow. Many demons misjudged the threat she posed and assumed she was easy prey. They often discovered, usually to their detriment, that she was anything but weak and it was foolhardy to dismiss her as such. He himself had been on the receiving end of her arrow more than once. He would never admit to feeling any imminent danger from her, but even so, he was grateful those days were long gone.

Ironically the same hands that dealt death were often called upon to help bring about new life. Many times she assisted Kaede with a new mother going through a difficult labor in the village. She held a cool damp cloth to their brow and let them squeeze her hand as tight as they needed while they endured the bittersweet agony of childbearing. Afterwards, she would swaddle and tenderly cradle the infant briefly before laying the babe in the mother's eager arms.

She preferred the use of her hands as instruments of healing, not hurting. She enjoyed their unique abilities of soothing and providing comfort to those hopelessly lost or in unbearable pain. Not only did she use them to carefully treat and bandage injuries, but a firm, steady hold, a hug or a calming touch did wonders for providing a stabilizing anchor to the emotionally adrift, frightened or confused.

While laboring at a strenuous task, her hands were strong and hard working, but captured in a tender moment, it took but a heartbeat for them to soften and return the sweetest of caresses. These were the hands he knew best of all, the ones with the sensuous and curious fingertips. He especially enjoyed them slowly tracing the stripes that adorned his face and body, erotically brushing the tips of his sensitive ears, fisting in his hair and raking down his back in ecstasy. Her hands definitely spoke to him and said much about her thoughts in their private moments.

Yes, he thought, his woman's touch was truly a miraculous thing.

A/N: Posted Oct. 23, 2008. Not humorous, I know... but I liked it all the same. I guess others did too, because it won first place. :) Thanks for reading!


	4. Out of the Mouths of Babes

**Theme:** Bittersweet  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** T  
**Warning:** Crude language  
**Summary:** The education given isn't always the one received.

Excited, Kagome packed the last two items on her list into the ever-expanding yellow backpack. One was a grab-bag of seashells from a variety store, the other, a field guide for identifying said shells.

She had her day with Rin all planned and hoped the little girl would be interested in the project. Of course there was always coloring and flower picking to fall back on, but Kagome hoped to expand the child's horizons a little bit, maybe sneak in some education while having fun. With their bright colors and interesting shapes, Kagome thought the seashells would capture Rin's interest.

Checking to make sure she had something for everyone, she kissed her mother goodbye and jumped down the well. The magic blue light enveloped her and in seconds transported her to the other side of the time barrier.

Sango was having her boomerang repaired while Inuyasha and Miroku were away teaching Shippo hunting skills. This meant she had to climb out of the deep hole on her own. The ponderous load on her back made it difficult, but she persevered and heaved herself over the lip of the ancient well.

Taking only a few minutes to catch her breath, she started down the dusty path to Kaede's village. Halfway along, she felt the strong aura of a powerful demon. Easily identifying it as Sesshoumaru's, she began searching the immediate area for the Daiyoukai.

Quite capable of masking his youki, he had allowed her to sense it, a warning that he was near. Very soon, he stepped unhurriedly out of the surrounding forest. Rin danced, skipped and twirled at his side.

Kagome waited patiently until he was quite near, and then bowed low to him respectfully.

"I humbly thank you, Sesshoumaru-sama, for allowing Rin to spend the day with me."

His hard amber eyes stared at her for what seemed like an eternity. She began to feel a little apprehensive and showed it as she started to fidget nervously. Finally he gave her a curt nod, turned on his heel, and began walking back the way he had come.

Over his shoulder, he addressed Rin. "I will return for you at nightfall."

Rin called back to him happily, "Yes my lord!"

Heaving a sigh of relief, Kagome took the girl's hand and they walked joyfully down the path, chatting as they went.

Having put the supplies away in Kaede's hut, the two girls currently sat outside in the warm sunshine with their seashells in a small pile on the soft grass. Rin immediately picked one out of the heap.

"Look Kagome, this one has stripes just like my lord Sesshoumaru!"

The shell she held in her outstretched hand did indeed have beautiful maroon markings running down the length of its ribbed exterior.

Happy to see Rin's enthusiasm, Kagome placed the open reference book between them to search for the identity of the mollusk. Finding the picture of it, she placed a finger under each word to encourage the young girl to read along.

"This bivalve is commonly called a dog cockle or bittersweet because the meat is tough when cooked, making it suitable food only for dogs and other animals."

The words were out of her mouth before the meaning and significance sank in.

Rin's face lit up. "Does that mean Lord Sesshoumaru would like them?" she asked, eyes shining brightly.

"He might," said Kagome hesitantly. "Let's look up another one…"

She hoped to distract the child from what she'd just learned by flooding her with facts about the other seashells. If she was lucky, Rin would forget that tidbit about being food fit only for dogs.

When they tired of looking up shells, Kagome and Rin spent the remainder of the day coloring, picking flowers and chasing butterflies.

By evening, both girls were exhausted and ready to call it a day. Walking back up the path, they giggled and laughed over the best parts of their adventures.

Once again, the miko sensed the demon before she saw him. As before, he materialized out of the forest and approached them with measured steps. Catching sight of him, Rin squealed with delight and broke into a run.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, look!" She pulled something from the sleeve of her kimono and held it in the palm of her hand.

Kagome didn't have to see what she had... to know what it was. She groaned internally, there was no way this was going to turn out well.

Eager to share her new knowledge, Rin blurted out, "It's called a dog cock, and humans don't eat them because they are too tough, but they can be given to animals!"

Sesshoumaru stopped dead, a rare look of surprise in his citrine gaze... which he now directed at the priestess. Kagome's fair skin pinked from the roots of her hair to her toes. She prayed to the Kamis for the earth to open and swallow her whole.

Raising one thin eyebrow he asked, "Where did you learn of this, Rin?"

"From a book Kagome showed me!" she answered proudly.

"Hn."

Kagome stuttered and sputtered, trying to explain. "It's called a dog COCKLE, not a dog co…" the word died on her lips.

"Indeed. This Sesshoumaru will preview any future books, miko."

"It was only a book about seashells…" she began, flustered.

He simply stared at her for a few seconds longer, and then turned away before his face betrayed his amusement at her predicament. He had enjoyed watching her embarrassment, she blushed quite prettily.

He slowly began the journey back to his pack's camp. Rin turned and waved vigorously before following along behind him. She called out, "Thank-you for the shell Kagome, I hope we can play together again soon!"

Kagome waved back at her, smiling sickly. _'If there is a next time, I'm sticking to crayons and flowers,'_ she thought bitterly as she turned toward the village once more.

A/N: This was posted Nov. 5, 2008. It won first place, whoo-hoo! Thanks for reading!


	5. An Ounce of Prevention

**Prompt:** Risk  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** T

It had been a beautiful spring day. The sun shone bright, friendly and warm. The grass was vivid green, soft and new. A light breeze carried the scent of fresh flowers and all the creatures of the forest were bustling about finding dens, building nests and looking for suitable mates. Winter's cold grey grip had been loosening over the past few weeks and a day like this was welcomed as a promise of good things to come. This perfect spring weather was enjoyed by all, but there was one who was regretting ever stepping foot into it.

Kagome could not believe the situation she now found herself in. She sat on the ground in utter shock, trying hard to keep from crying in frustration. She had made a horrible mistake and was just now realizing the ramifications of it.

Sesshoumaru sat a short distance away from her, unsure about the mental and physical well-being of the small female. She had suddenly become highly distressed and full of regret, but he did not completely understand why. He'd learned something about humans from Rin but he didn't know them well yet, especially this one. The relationship with Kagome had grown slowly over the winter months, but he still had a lot to learn. He was now watching and waiting for her to give some indication of what she needed. He had earlier made an attempt to move closer to her, wrap her up in his arms and comfort her, but it had not gone well.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

She had screamed at him hysterically while cringing in fear.

He winced at the pain her volume inflicted upon his ears and instantly drew back.

"Kagome, what can be done?"

She just shook her head sadly, "Nothing, now…"

He felt confused and helpless. He was not well acquainted with these two emotions and he decided he did not care for them. Unfamiliar as well with what she was going through, he could permit the time she apparently needed for now, but soon he must insist they return to the village.

Meanwhile Kagome was mentally berating herself. _'Always use protection! Always use protection! Even if it's the first time, always use protection!'_ How could she have been so stupid, so careless? The message was one pounded into her head from school, magazines, newspapers, television and radio. The problem was a global one and absolutely everyone knew you had to use prevention, each and every time. Forgoing even one time was a risk that could potentially be life-altering, if not downright devastating.

She knew all this and still she disregarded what she'd been taught. It wasn't like she didn't carry any with her either. Her mother insisted she keep some packed in her bag for her ventures through the well. Everyone knew it was better to be safe than sorry. Why didn't she think to use it? Did she subconsciously think her body was immune to the effects of engaging male company, fresh air and sunshine? Looking back on the day, she couldn't honestly regret her initial decision to dally with the Daiyoukai.

While walking, they had found the perfect setting for a romantic afternoon. The white sandy shoreline was pristine; the lake's water was a hypnotic crystal blue. A secluded spot with no one to interrupt them was such a rare treat; they had immediately given in to the temptation this place offered. They ended up spending the whole day there, conversing, swimming, playing and just relaxing in a comfortable companionship that had developed since he had asked permission to court her.

She discovered her folly when she went to change back into her clothes. Standing behind some shrubbery for privacy, she removed her risqué swimsuit and gasped in shock. She was sunburned from her hairline to her toes. The only places unscathed were the two narrow bands covered by her neon-pink bikini, her palms, and the soles of her feet. Her skin was beginning to sting and she knew before too long she would be in scorching pain. Too late she remembered the sunscreen her mother made her carry. It lay untouched, unused, in her big yellow bag and now she would have to pay the price for her foolishness.

Finally realizing he did not fully comprehend her situation; Kagome explained to Sesshoumaru what the next two weeks held for her, excruciating pain, blisters and finally peeling skin. To him this was new information about humans and he made a mental note of it. Until now he was unaware people were susceptible to the sun's rays in this manner. Demons were quite simply not affected.

Deciding the best course of action was to take her back to Kaede for a soothing burn remedy; he gathered his youki and formed a vapor cloud under the two of them. Thinking she would not appreciate the irony of his compliment, he refrained from telling her how pretty she looked in hot pink.

A/N: Posted Nov. 19, 2008. This won second place, yay! Thanks for reading!


	6. Paybacks

**Prompt:** Borrow  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** T  
**Warning:** Innuendo  
**Summary:** Paybacks are a b*tch?

They had been dating each other for a few months now. They were moving past the cautious 'I like you and want to get to know you' stage of a new friendship into the 'deeper understanding of each other' stage of a growing relationship. It was not without its problems.

Facing each other, a demon diayoukai and a human miko were obviously trying to reach a compromise. The demon was not faring well. He wanted something from her, and he was willing to do just about anything to procure the prize. She had him at a disadvantage and they both knew it, but he wasn't planning on giving in to any frivolous demands.

Kagome held out a pen and paper towards him. "Please sign here."

Sesshoumaru stared hard at her. This situation was completely ridiculous.

The petite female before him comfortably ignored the withering glare from his amber eyes. She patiently continued to present the paper and pen, waiting for him to come to a decision.

"Do you want to or not?"

"It seems you have left me no choice," he replied tersely.

She delicately snorted at his suggestion that she was somehow forcing him to do something against his will. "You always have a choice. You either want to or you don't. If you want to, then sign your name."

"If this is your idea of a joke," he said evenly through clenched teeth, "I do not find it humorous."

"Sesshoumaru, it is just business. Surely you understand that I need to protect myself. I have been burned too many times in the past and while I'm sure you would never do something like that to me, I still need to look out for my own best interests. You forget I was taught well by Grandfather!" She flashed him a big bright smile as she said this.

"You would dare to question my intentions over a matter such as this? I did not think you capable of an action so… common." He raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

Her eyes flashed, but she quelled the biting retort that tried valiantly to squeeze past her brain/mouth filter. She realized quickly he was trying to manipulate her emotions. She was not about to be derailed off the topic and baited into a useless argument.

"It is not a question of intention, but one of self-preservation. What if things don't work out between us?" she questioned reasonably. "I don't want to be the one left holding the short end of the stick."

The demeaning dog reference was done on purpose. If this was the game he wanted to play, she was willing and determined to give as good as she got.

The remark was not lost on him and his respect for her nimble mind went up a notch. This pretty little woman was no pushover. She had a hot temper, but she did not allow it rule her. His attempt at drawing her into a hysterical maelstrom failed and instead resulted in her turning it back on him. He almost broke his stoic façade with a smirk. She was turning out to be a formidable and intriguing sparring partner.

Having discovered an interesting facet of her character, he decided to concede to her demands. After all, there was no point in cutting off one's nose to spite one's face in so small a matter. All he need do was patiently bide his time. Soon he hoped to have her under his thumb, writhing and begging for release. Plotting it all out in his mind, he took the pen and paper from her and with an elegant flourish, signed his name.

Kagome beamed with pleasure, taking note of his graceful surrender. He was stubborn, but not unreasonable or immovable. She took the items from him, read the paper making sure it was all in order, and then she handed over the five dollar bill he had asked to borrow when he had discovered his wallet was in his other jacket.

Smiling with satisfaction, she tucked the IOU into her purse while he went to the Starbucks counter to place his coffee order. She wondered how long it would take him to pay her back.

A/N: Posted Dec. 5, 2008. This won first place. :) I do not own Starbucks... obviously. If I did, I'd be sipping an iced one on a beach instead of posting stories online, lol! Thanks for reading!


	7. Erectile Dysfunction

**Prompt:** Malfunction  
**Genre:** Innuendo  
**Rating:** T  
**Warning:** Nothing to worry about, this can happen to any guy…  
**Summary:** Kagome and Sesshoumaru must overcome a personal setback.

*****

Snowflakes fell gently outside in the chilly December night. Inside, their first winter holiday together was quickly becoming a disaster.

As the festive instrumental music played quietly in the background, Kagome looked over at the less-than-happy-spirited demon in front of her. Their bedclothes and the soft glow of the multicolored twinkle lights were inharmonious with the upset and depressed feelings hanging in the room.

She did not need her empathetic miko powers to know she had a very disgruntled daiyoukai on her hands. He was not only irritated, but confused, hurt and a little sad as well.

"Sesshoumaru, sometimes these things, well, they just happen…" she began.

He held up a clawed hand, stopping her speech. "These things do NOT 'just' happen to THIS Sesshoumaru."

She knew his head was in a very bad place when he began referring to himself in the third person. "This sort of thing could happen to anyone…" she continued.

He put his hand back down and turned away from her, looking off into the corner of the room. He was the ultimate perfectionist and it did not sit well with him to be unable to perform such a simple task for her.

She tried again, wanting to reason with him. "This really isn't the disaster you are making it out to be."

"I have failed you." He said dejectedly. "It has ruined our evening together."

"You haven't failed me! Don't be so melodramatic. You can't possibly think that you are the only one who has had to deal with a… a minor hiccup like this!"

"You personally know of others?" He asked, a little sarcastically.

"Well, not personally, no, but I have heard stories."

"Hn."

Kagome was trying to not lose her patience. This was not the confident male she knew and loved.

"Look, I'm willing to try again tonight if you want, or we can wait until tomorrow and make another attempt at getting it up."

He appeared to be thinking about her proposal, but made no outward sign of making a decision. She tried a different tact.

"Could it be that it is just a little too big? Would it help if I held it steady for you while you try to put it in? What do you think? Is the size of it part of the problem?"

By now he was used to her rapid-fire style of questioning. He waited patiently for her to become still before speaking.

Cocking one eyebrow at her, he said, "You are complaining about the size of it?"

"I'm _not_ complaining about the size. I was merely suggesting that you can't expect to automatically know the right way to fit it in there when it is your first time!"

He neither agreed nor disagreed. Really this should have been far simpler than it was turning out to be. Even though he had not felt the need to follow the assembly instructions for the tree stand, this disaster should not have happened.

They continued to stare at the partially-decorated fir tree lying on its side on the floor of the living room, its lights still blinking merrily.

Kagome knew he had not read the directions, but she wanted to salvage what was left of his pride and their evening. "Obviously the tree stand is defective and has malfunctioned. We'll simply get rid of it and buy a better stand tomorrow."

Gratefully grasping at the shred of dignity she offered, he took her into his arms and kissed her deeply. Kagome sighed as his kiss rapidly became passionate and she felt a part of him that never needed help, rise to the occasion.

A/N: Posted Dec. 14, 2008. This won first place, hooray! :) Thanks for reading!


	8. The War of Spoils

**Prompt:** Charade  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** G  
**Word Count:** 570  
**Summary:** Kagome is accused of spoiling her pet.

"Come see mama! Have you been a good girl? Yes you _have_! You're a gooood girl!" Kagome spoke to her six-month-old puppy in a high-pitched baby voice that drove the chocolate Labrador nuts, and Sesshoumaru crazy.

"Kagome, why do you insist on exciting Suki to this level? You are not the pup's mother, and we have only been gone an hour. This display of attention is unwarranted and she is becoming spoiled."

Ignoring him, she knelt down on the floor and wrapped up the wiggling canine in her arms, holding her in a tight embrace, still crooning to her.

"You HAVE been a good girl! Oh, mama is so proud of her puppy…"

After receiving a few slurps in the face, Kagome stood up, clapping her hands together in delight.

"I think you deserve a treat!"

At the word 'treat', the half-grown dog snapped to attention. Her bottom became glued to the floor, her head directed at Kagome. Suki's ears were perked forward and her eyes never left her mistress for a second. She looked like a still photograph, save for the non-stop tail action going on behind.

"She's not spoiled! Look at how _pretty_ she sits… she's a good girl!" Her voice slid back into baby-talk.

Sesshoumaru resisted the urge to 'hn'.

Suki held her position, but thumped her tail in agreement. Kagome turned and popped open the door to the pantry to retrieve the pouch of dog treats. She rummaged around for a bit and finally withdrew a new bag of Beggin' Strips. She stood there for a moment, a confused look on her face.

"That's funny; I could swear I had another half-bag of these in here yesterday."

Sesshoumaru spoke up. "It was not a half-bag, and I finished it yesterday."

Kagome eyed him sharply. "It was _half _a bag! You talk about **me** spoiling… I'll put them on the list for the grocery store, but you really need to slow down on the number of treats. Dogs can become obese from the extra calories very quickly." She poked him in the ribs to emphasize her seriousness.

Sesshoumaru snorted at the rebuking remark. "You give her far more than I do."

All this time, Suki had been waiting anxiously. She became more agitated as Kagome tore open the bag and removed a strip. Her eyes darted nervously from Kagome, to the treat, to Sesshoumaru. She whined slightly, eager to claim her prize.

"Now what has gotten into her, do you suppose?" Kagome wondered aloud as she passed the treat to the pup.

"As I said, you spoil her."

Suki took the treat nicely, then gobbled it down hastily. "That's a good dog!" Kagome handed her another one. "All gone! Good girl, Suki!"

Kagome returned the pouch to the pantry and walked across the room to let Suki outside. As she started to close the kitchen's back door behind them, she heard the pantry door quietly pop open again. She fought the urge to suddenly return and expose his little charade.

She heard the rustle of the bag and Suki whined to her mistress in complaint of another dog raiding her treats. Kagome laughed to herself and resolved to remember to buy extra Beggin' Strips the next time she was out. If she was going to spoil one dog, she may as well spoil both.

"Don't worry, Suki. I'll remember to keep a stash hidden just for you."

A/N: Posted Dec. 30, 2008. The idea of him covertly sneaking their dog's treats still makes me laugh. :) Thanks for reading!


	9. Residing in the Doghouse

**Prompt:** Overreaction  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K

He'd hurt her feelings. It had not been his intention to do so, and yet he _had_ done it. Sesshoumaru compounded his mistake by not apologizing right away.

He had been on a business trip for just over a week. His flight was late and he was very tired by the time he got home. He had forgotten his noise-cancelling headphones, so the noise level he had to endure on the plane with his youkai hearing was excruciating. Add that to the overwhelming scents his nose had to filter through and it all combined to create a massive headache centered directly behind his left eye.

He was happy to see her, but what he really wanted was quiet time with her wrapped up tight in his arms. Perhaps they could begin with a little love-making, some spooning afterwards and then some much needed sleep. Instead he got a very excited chirpy female who wanted to chatter about all the happenings of the week as she dithered about the bedroom, unpacking his clothes. He lay on the bed in pajama bottoms, head pounding, half-listening to her.

"…then Souta's girl friend, well, not GIRLFRIEND, but friend who is a girl, met Grandpa and you know what HE'S like when he meets anyone new…"

Sesshoumaru yawned. Not a little polite behind-the-hand yawn… a huge mouth-stretching, fang-flashing, tongue-curling, jaw-breaking yawn.

Kagome stopped in mid-sentence. He immediately saw the hurt register in her eyes.

"Oh," she said softly, "I didn't realize I was boring you…"

She thought he would deny it.

Feeling petulant, he didn't.

She was hurt even more.

Kagome waited for him to apologize for the rudeness.

Resentful that she was hurt, he didn't do that either.

**That** made her mad.

Yanking the pillow out from under him, she grabbed a blanket and before he knew what was happening, he found himself on the wrong side of the bedroom door.

That was two days ago.

Sesshoumaru sighed wearily. Even though he believed she was as much to blame as he was, he would apologize to her if it got him off the couch and back into her good graces… and their bed. Swallowing his pride, he was determined to get this over with as quickly as possible.

He found her sitting in the kitchen, flipping nonchalantly through a magazine while sipping a steaming mug of hot tea.

Approaching her in a quiet dignified manner, he cleared his throat to start the little speech he had rehearsed. The ringing of the wall phone interrupted him before he could even begin. Picking it up, he heard a voice on the other end asking if he would like to switch phone companies. He hung up without saying a word… and received a scowl from his mate.

"That was **rude**." She went back to her magazine. He didn't miss her pointed insinuation.

He gathered himself mentally, took a deep breath and prepared to begin again.

"Kagome, I…" Again, the phone rang. He snatched it up.

An automated voice began playing. "This is Paul from your satellite TV network!" He slammed the phone back down in its cradle.

Kagome did not look up; she merely raised her eyebrows in response to his show of irritation and flipped another page.

"It was an auto-telemarketing phone call…" he said in a pleading voice. She refused to even glance at him.

For the third time, Sesshoumaru launched into his speech, "Kagome, although you did overreact the other night, I realize I was very rude to you. I wish to apologize for…" The phone rang yet again. This time he didn't even bother to pick it up. With a flick of the wrist and a flash of green, the melted phone hung suspended by two wires, smoldering against the wall.

"_That_ was a bit much, don't you think?" she inquired, flipping another page.

He sighed heavily. He was never going to get out of the doghouse at this rate.

A/N: Posted Jan. 14, 2009. This won first place, hooray! :) Thanks for reading!


	10. Pop!

**Prompt:** Bubble  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** T  
**Warning:** Innuendo  
**Summary:** A boring afternoon disappears in a hurry.

Working a crossword puzzle in the paper, Sesshoumaru was stretched out comfortably on the couch. He was enjoying the rare peace and quiet of the house… little did he know things were about to change. A storm was brewing and its name was Kagome.

She wandered into the room, flopped boneless onto the recliner, and sighed loudly. He pretended not to notice and continued working the puzzle. It was obvious she was bored and looking for someone to entertain her. Rin left two days earlier to attend summer camp, so a substitute playmate was needed to sate Kagome's desire for whimsical distraction. He didn't like _being_ that person; whimsy was not a comfortable part of his character. She was going to have to work for it.

"Sess."

"Hn."

"Let's play something fun."

He looked over the paper at her. "What is it you would like to do?"

"Oh… I don't know. What would you like to do?"

Now it was his turn to sigh. He hated _this_ game.

"Miko, you are the person who came in here and disturbed this Sesshoumaru. Now you desire this Sesshoumaru to provide ideas for entertainment?"

"Yes." Her voice became that of a petulant child.

He knew the tone well. If he ignored her, she would pick a fight. Bored Kagome could turn into Hurricane Kagome if not properly placated. He needed to say the unexpected to distract her from her current mood and challenge her mind.

"It is plain you are missing Rin. If she were here, what would the two of you be doing?"

Kagome sat up, shocked. Was he indicating he would be willing to engage in the same activities she and Rin normally enjoyed? She could not believe her ears.

"Um, well, we braid each others hair and try out new styles," she began.

He was already shaking his head in the negative for that idea.

"I have seen the results of the 'Beauty Parlor' game. We will not be playing that one."

Kagome was disappointed. There was nothing she liked better than playing with his magnificent silver hair. Unfortunately, he hardly ever allowed her to do with it whatever she wanted, not that she could blame him. She and Rin usually came up with some pretty wild, if not funny, hairstyles.

She thought hard about the other things she and Rin liked to do. They liked to chase and catch butterflies, but somehow the thought of Sesshoumaru stalking flying insects with a bug net was unimaginable. Strictly a catch and release game, she doubted he would adhere to the confines of the activity. Most likely he would simply snap at them unerringly with his poison whip, which would result in a number of dead butterflies. Somehow, she thought sarcastically, that might suck all the fun out of it.

Although Rin thoroughly enjoyed flower-picking, it was not one of Kagome's favorite things to do, so she dismissed that idea as well. She thought of another idea, but was sure he would turn it down. Still, it couldn't hurt to ask…

"Bubbles?" She asked hopefully.

He appeared to think this one over. Her eyes widened in amazement. He was actually considering the suggestion of playing with bubbles. If he consented, she would have to go get her camera. Pictures of the stoic demon lord with his lips pursed toward a small plastic ring would be priceless!

"Agreed," he finally answered.

She let out a whoop of unrestrained joy as she jumped out of the chair and tore off to find her bottle of soap bubbles and her camera.

Running back into the family room a few minutes later, she almost dropped both items at the sight greeting her eyes.

Sesshoumaru was still stretched out on the couch, but now he was enticingly naked, and completely aroused. Holding out a can of whipped cream, he said, "Since it was your idea to play with bubbles, I believe I should be first."

A/N: Posted Jan. 28, 2009. This won second place! Whoo-hoo! I'd play bubbles with him... Thanks for reading! :)


	11. Intimacy

**Prompt:** Forgotten  
**Genre:** Romance  
**Rating:** T  
**Warning:** Extreme pleasure and a little nudity  
**Summary:** Intimacy can be achieved in more than one way.

*

Excited, Kagome practically ran to the hot spring she and her mate claimed for their use. It was her turn for a very special treat, and she was not about to be late for her 'appointment'.

She slipped with ease through the barrier he erected for privacy, both sight and sound. Though she was a little early, Sesshoumaru was already stripped to his fundoshi and waiting for her. He had everything set out in preparation and was standing near the edge, ready to help her into the stony basin.

Mentally squealing with delight, Kagome disrobed in a heartbeat and extended her hand to him so that he could assist her down into the swirling waters.

Gliding out to a submerged outcropping of smooth rock, Sesshoumaru turned her so she was facing away, and guided her back towards his sculpted chest. He seated himself, and then proceeded to arrange her body to suit the activity he had planned for her.

Once seated, she slid down a little and relaxed into him. Stretching her body out, she laid her head back into his capable hands.

As the warm mineral water rose up her neck, wispy tendrils of steam caressed her exposed throat. Her long raven locks flowed over his lap, first atop the water, then sinking below the surface. They radiated outwards from her beautiful face, waving gracefully in the currents and eddies.

A dipper of water, poured over her forehead soothed her cares away. Another dip of water trickled over her, then strong hands moved through her heavy mass of hair, making sure it was soaked through evenly.

His fingers gently threaded their way from scalp to ends. Eyes closed and mind drifting; Kagome heard the 'pop' of the cap on her shampoo bottle. A light scent of honeysuckle tickled her nose as his magic hands lathered the clear liquid into a bubbly froth. Gathering the ebony mass together, he worked the foam thoroughly along the strands. He labored slowly and methodically, his claws lightly scraping and scratching her scalp. Troubles and cares forgotten, she was so far gone she was unaware the sensations she was experiencing drew quiet little moans from her lips. Her head lolled in his palms, synchronized to his ministrations.

He slid his tapered digits through her slick tresses, quickly disentangling any knots they encountered. Maneuvering her head up and forward slightly, his hands slid down to the nape of her neck.

Using the pads of his large thumbs, he stroked the muscle lying beneath the smooth skin. From shoulder to hairline, he massaged her firmly, rotating outward with semi-circular motions, eliciting more groans of ecstasy. The claws of his fingertips delicately scratched behind her ears.

Kagome was in heaven. "Oh gods, Sesshoumaru, don't stop! Feels sooo good!"

He chuckled to himself. His little minx was so easy to pleasure. He continued releasing her tension a little while longer, and then eased her head back again.

He spread out her hair into the pool, allowing the suds to escape into the surrounding waters. More water poured slowly from above rinsed the remaining bubbles away. She lay with her eyes closed, languid, serene and content.

He nudged her gently, indicating she should sit up against him. She reluctantly complied and he ran a wide-toothed comb through the dripping strands.

A slight push had her moving away, and he guided her to the edge of the pool. Climbing out, he extended his hand to assist her assent, and then wrapped her in a fluffy towel.

Kagome fully embraced the essential and sensual Inu tradition of grooming one's mate. Tomorrow night she would return the favor. It was just as relaxing to give as it was to receive. Though they rarely spoke, it was a precious part of their day and connected them as intimately as anything done in their private quarters.

A/N: Posted Feb 13, 2009, this won first place. I really _need_ someone to wash my hair like this, and I'd wash Sesshoumaru's hair any place, anytime. ;) Thanks for reading!


	12. A Dream Come True

**Prompt:** Experiment  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** K+  
**Warning:** Don't try this at home.  
**Summary:** Kagome experiments with a parlor trick… as seen on T.V.

*****

Sifting slowly up from the depths of blissful slumber, Kagome reluctantly opened her eyes and tried to make sense of the darkness. She searched out the clock on the nightstand next to her mate and inwardly groaned as the display [2:36 a.m.] filtered through her dissipating sleep-fog.

She was unfortunately wide awake, but it was nowhere near time to get up. This was especially irritating as it was the weekend and she could have slept in. Past experience told her it was useless to try falling back to sleep. These bouts of insomnia were infrequent, but she recognized the signs and resigned herself to it with a soft sigh.

Spooned to the back of her warm and deep-breathing male, she was reluctant to get up and find something to read until a more reasonable hour presented itself. Instead she craned further over his side to gaze at his beautiful face, illuminated by the glow of the clock, while he slept.

How like an angel he looked, his features relaxed and serene, dark bedroom eyelashes resting on striped aristocratic cheeks. Even though the light was faint, she could see movement beginning under the lids. He was shifting into a REM sleep cycle, the one usually conducive to dreaming… and suggestion. An idea formed in her mind, and she decided to run a little experiment.

Placing her mouth next to his elegant ear, she whispered to him, "Sesshoumaru… can you hear me?" She peered at his face for any kind of recognition or sign that he had heard.

He slept peacefully on.

"Sesshoumaru." Her voice was louder and a little more insistent.

It was a fine edge she walked, trying to tap into the subconscious mind without waking the subject. The objective was to keep him under, but at the same time have him aware enough to pay attention and remember her words.

"Hn…?" He frowned minutely and rolled onto his chest.

Kagome stifled a giggle and sidled closer to him, encouraged by his reaction. She had seen this type of hypnosis done in a movie and didn't believe it could actually work, but it was worth a try just for the fun of it. She knew exactly what she would ask of him, as it was something that had always been a bone of contention between them.

"Listen carefully to what I say…"

*****

That morning she was impatient for him to wake up, so she cheated a little bit by making breakfast early. Flapping a dish towel, she wafted the odors out of the kitchen and down the hallway toward the open bedroom door. She knew if the smell of fresh coffee didn't rouse him, the scent of frying bacon would.

Her efforts were rewarded as she heard him take a huge inhale of the enticing aromas and then emit a loud groan as he stretched out his sleep-cramped form. Sizzling bacon and eggs were sliding onto the plates as he padded into the kitchen, still stretching toward the ceiling.

"Good morning!" she chirped happily.

"Mmmm… good morning," he replied, kissing her forehead and peering with interest at the plates.

Everything was perfectly arranged. His newspaper was folded neatly by his place and fresh-cut flowers in a pretty vase sat in the center. Kagome set the two laden plates down across the table from each other. Sesshoumaru held out her chair as she settled into her place, and then seated himself.

She was watching him with too-bright eyes. It puzzled him somewhat, but she often had little tricks up her sleeve and he knew he would be advised in due time. He picked up his coffee cup for a sip, and then took a fork in hand to tuck into the delicious food in front of him.

"Aren't you going to read the paper?" she innocently asked. "Check out the business section?"

He looked at her quizzically. "I may later… I thought I would talk to you while we eat breakfast."

Kagome's eyes grew impossibly large. _This_ was not his usual morning "hn." It was _**so**_ unlike him, she could only stare. He never ignored the paper; in fact he usually had it open and stuck to his nose before coffee was poured. She could not believe her nocturnal 'suggestion' that he talk to her more, tell her his thoughts, really worked!

She felt so giddy she could hardly eat. It was incredible that the demon who so seldom spoke was going to converse with her in sentences, phrases, and paragraphs even! She gazed adoringly at him, listening with rapt attention as he chatted to her over their morning meal.

He talked all through breakfast, and the whole time she did the dishes. He followed her everywhere in the house, to the bedroom, the laundry room and even stood outside the bathroom, expressing his every thought and feelings.

He lectured her on the plants chosen for their front flower garden all during lunch and ranted about people who let their dogs run loose as they walked through the park. He spoke non-stop about his political views on policies at home and abroad all through dinner and commented through the entire movie she put into the DVD player that evening.

Kagome wouldn't have minded so much if she could have gotten a word in edgewise, but she never got the chance to say much more than, "Uh huh, I…" before she was cut off by another brilliant insight he just **had** to share with her. He literally talked to her all day long.

By nightfall she had quite a pounding migraine blossoming behind her left eye.

Pleading a headache, she tried to make her escape into the bedroom, only to have him follow her, asking if she was alright, and could he help, was there anything she needed.

_'Some peace and quiet!'_ she thought wearily, as she chased down two aspirin with a glass of water. She somehow found the strength to curl up under the blankets and pull a pillow over her ear to block out his voice. She could still hear him talking about various pain-relievers, but thankfully it was well-muffled. Gradually sleep overtook her, and she gratefully slipped into land of Nod.

Sesshoumaru ceased speaking when he sensed she was fast asleep. It had been a hard day for him as well; he was so very tired of _hearing_ his own voice, let alone _using_ it all day. He smirked wickedly at the exhausted, sneaky miko, and gently removed the pillow covering her head. Waiting until he saw her eyes move rapidly under the closed lids, he then whispered into her ear…

A/N: Posted Mar. 11, 2009. This won first place! Hooray! I confess I am still amused by this idea... I wonder what he asked of her? Thanks for reading! :)


	13. A Matter of Opinion

**Prompt:** Island  
**Rating:** T  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Summary:** Viva la Difference!

Laughing too hard to stand, she sat instead, rocking back and forth on the riverbank holding her stomach. Sesshoumaru stood nearby, fastidiously running his fingers through his soggy silver tresses, combing out any knots that dared entangle his hair. He was not pleased to be soaked and reeking of river water.

"I fail to see anything humorous in the situation."

This sent her off again, the tone and the words were just too much. He huffed his annoyance; really… what was wrong with the girl?

"Kagome, you could have been swept away, dashed on rocks, severely injured or even killed. How is this lack of good judgment on your part a point of hilarity?"

Gasping to catch her breath, she wiped the corners of her eyes with edge of her hands and did her best to stifle the giggles that threatened to bubble up once more. Regaining her feet, she faced him with a mirth-filled smile.

"Oh please! I was never in any real danger; you just had your protectiveness in overdrive again. I could have made that island easily, if you hadn't…" here she began to lose it again, "swum out… *snort*… to save me." She managed to choke back the most of the guffaws, but she failed to keep a straight face. Quite unlike her highly put-out Daiyoukai, who managed to convey his complete annoyance, irritation, and boredom without moving a muscle.

"It is not an island, Kagome, it is a mere sandbar," he stated with extreme patience. "You did not enter the river far enough upstream before striking out into the water. The current is swift enough to have carried you past; you never would have made it. You might show a little gratitude."

"I was doing just fine until you decided I needed to be 'rescued'! I have been swimming since I was five; I am proficient in all the swimming strokes, except perhaps the butterfly, which is a stupid stroke to begin with… but I never imagined you didn't know how to swim!"

"What are you speaking of, woman? Did not this Sesshoumaru just pull you from the raging torrent and save your life? How am I to do that if I cannot swim?" He glared at her now, molten gold daring her to deny it.

She softened her voice a little, thinking she should placate him somewhat. It was still hard for him to laugh at himself. "Ok, you did come out to get me, but give me a break, this is not a 'raging torrent' and what you were doing is not really considered swimming."

He made a derisive grunt, but within it was a slight acknowledgement that _perhaps_ she hadn't been in _mortal_ danger.

"I would enjoy teaching you how to swim properly," she said coyly, as her hand slipped up his chest.

"I already know how to swim. I was born with the knowledge," he said as he clasped her hand and stepped nearer to her.

"Sesshoumaru, using the dog-paddle to propel yourself through the water when you aren't in your true form, isn't considered swimming." The giggles threatened to erupt again as she pictured him splashing through the water to her aid.

He moved in to kiss her passionately, knowing it was one way to get her mind onto a better subject.

"Next time I'll transform and carry you out in my jaws," he growled softly into her ear, on his way to nibbling her neck and collarbone.

A/N: Posted Mar. 26, 2009. The image of him dog-paddling as an adult cracks me up. (I'm silly like that.) Thanks for reading! :)


	14. Poker Face

**Prompt:** Beginner's Luck  
**Word Count:** 800  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Rating:** T  
**Warning:** Allusions to oral gratification.  
**Summary:** Does the playa get played?  
**Date Posted:** 4/08/10

*****

Sesshoumaru's Casanova reputation caused him not the slightest twinge of guilt… a male predator in his prime _naturally_ pursued discerning, desirable females. As a confirmed bachelor, he maintained a strict catch and release policy.

For him, high-quality feminine company was easy to come by. His status, power and money saw to that. Persuading them to bestow their favors upon him without promise of a wedding ring was the real challenge. His approach to tempt them into entering an intimate relationship was unconventional, but acceptable to a surprising number of women.

His little secret of seduction? He proposed a beguiling game with simple rules that combined skill with chance. High Stakes Strip Poker, winner-take-all.

While the objects of his desire might not possess _his_ knowledge of the odds, identification of tells, or experience, he believed the inclusion of unpredictable events, i.e. luck, evened the playing field.

Of course he didn't propose it quite _this_ way to his newest potential conquest, Kagome Higarashi, a few weeks after they started dating.

Kagome was anything but naïve about her rich, powerful boyfriend. She could read the tabloids as well as anyone and deductive reasoning said there must be many notches carved into his bed post. While it would be perfectly acceptable for her to decline his invitation to participate in a game of Strip Poker, she instead surprised him by agreeing.

Sesshoumaru seriously did not expect her acceptance. No one he knew had managed to pick Miss Higarashi's locks… the idea he would be the first made him giddy as a pup. He must manipulate the situation with extreme care if he wished to succeed. After all, Sesshoumaru's reputation was built on being a considerate lover, not a callous pig! It would be beneath him to pout or demanded payoff from a female who got cold feet after losing. There was no honor or sport in taking what was not freely offered.

*****

The dog knew from experience he would frighten his pretty little rabbit away by trouncing her immediately. Luring her carefully with slow progression meant there was less chance of her changing her mind about awarding him the prize. He began his 'hunt' in a nonchalant manner, imperceptibly stalking her by drawing out the hands and allowing her to win more often than he did. He intended to make his delectable prey feel confident, at ease… comfortable.

Kagome pleasantly surprised him by playing fairly well. She was nowhere near _his_ equal, but with practice she might improve. For now, as long as she was up one more item of clothing than he was, it encouraged her false hope she might actually win.

*****

Inevitably, the score stood at two articles of clothing to one.

He preened knowing she found his bared torso attractive, with his smooth muscles rippling each time he moved. The scent of her arousal coupled with the slight hitch in her breathing told him all he needed to know. Obviously she'd been indulged with eye-candy long enough. It was time to move the game to its foregone conclusion.

Looking at his cards, he mentally licked his chops. Very few hands could beat what he held. Assured of victory, molten-amber irises shifted to Kagome and lustily drank in her demure visage.

The matching camisole and tap pants intrigued him, seductively concealing more than the usual panties and bra. Delicious anticipation teased and stoked his desire, building a longing to discover the secrets beneath the satiny folds of fabric.

Her dark hair hung in silky tendrils about her nearly-naked shoulders as she studied her hand, finally asking for one card. Mindlessly, he slipped it to her while thinking, _'In a just few more minutes, I'll be raking my claws through that ebony mass…' _

Daydreaming, he vividly imagined the cool feel of it wound around his fists, entangling his fingers as he howled his first release to her talented tongue.

Sesshoumaru was jolted out of his carnal musings when her resigned voice said, "I call."

Keeping tight control over his excitement, he slowly exposed his full house, aces over kings.

"I have two pair," she sighed.

Externally, he smiled sympathetically. Internally, he smirked. Two pair was the third lowest hand. Which would she remove, top or bottoms? He hoped she chose the bottoms. Having lost his focus a few seconds ago, he feared he'd find her breasts more than a little distracting.

"See? Threes."

"And the other pair?" he politely inquired, looking at her cards.

"Oh, I have _two_ pair of threes," she replied innocently, spreading them out.

Sesshoumaru froze. Her four of a kind just beat the pants off his full house, literally. And her tone, though sincere, was perhaps a touch _too_ innocent…

Glancing up quickly, he caught the barest hint of a wicked gleam in her eye. She_ knows._

"Better luck next time," Kagome laughed, as she gathered her clothes.

*****

A/N: A 'tell' is an unconscious signal a poker player makes to indicate elation, worry or dismay. Some players fake 'tells' to mislead their opponents. This won first place! :) Thanks for reading!


	15. Belonging

**Prompt:** Horror  
**Word Count:** 2485  
**Rating:** T  
**Genre:** Dark!fic, Humor  
**Warning:** Go Back! Do Not Enter!  
**Summary:** Kagome finds out things she never knew about Sesshoumaru.  
**Date Posted:** 4/23/10

A/N: This is my entry that I worked into a response to a Wrong!fic Challenge issued by Noacat... like a year ago. Hey! That's one off the list! Whoo-Hoo!

*****

Kagome was lost in a dank, endless forest-- again… though this was a little different than any other time she'd gotten lost.

She hadn't been chased though it by lesser youkai intent on killing her. She wasn't trying to escape kidnappers interested in her shard-detection abilities, and Inuyasha wasn't going to come looking for her.

In fact, Kagome wasn't even _in_ the feudal era…

Now that the Jewel had been wished away, the ancient well refused to let her pass as it had before. For the last three years she'd been stuck on this side of it, the modern age.

Unbelievable!

She was _supposed_ to have the happy ending wasn't she? After all, _she_ was the one who saved the world from evil--though one would never know that from the way today's stories told it.

The un-named and untrained miko of legend was consistently portrayed as naïve, inept, and a crybaby in constant need of rescuing… with 'clumsy' thrown in for good measure!

Her family knew the real truth, but it was impossible to set the record straight everywhere else without sounding like she was completely off her nut. Though mentally she understood she should just ignore the erroneous tales, in her heart, the ridicule cut deep.

She felt the need to prove to herself and her family she wasn't some hapless, _helpless_ pawn of Fate. Certainly she had received aid from her friends back in the days when they were collecting Jewel fragments and fighting Naraku, but everyone seemed to forget she'd _given_ aid too. And there were plenty of times she'd managed to figure or fight her way out of trouble, _on her own_!

Kagome's pride, as well as her anger at the unfairness of it all, led her to make a foolish decision.

*****

At the base of Mt. Fuji lies Aokigahara, the Sea of Trees. It is an ancient forest, believed to be home to many strange animals, ghosts and demons. Not to mention a gate to hell.

Exactly what she needed for what she had in mind.

She filled her old yellow backpack, grabbed her bow and left on a two week camping trip _alone_, despite the protests from her family. She had everything she needed--shelter, provisions, and a weapon. _Even better prepared than the old days,_ she thought smugly as she shouldered the weight and hiked off the beaten path.

She found out too late some of the equipment she brought simply wouldn't function in the dark, forbidden woods--equipment like a compass or GPS--leading to her current predicament.

_Perfect… just PERFECT!'_ she thought sarcastically while stomping her foot in frustration. _'In my efforts to prove I'm not inept, I've just gone and beautifully demonstrated that I __**am**__! It took all of ONE whole day, too!_

At least she hadn't lost her bag. Thankfully, she had everything she needed and could spend the next two weeks finding her way out. No one would be the wiser.

_It'll be dark soon; I better make camp and build a fire. Tonight I'll plan a course of action to figure out exactly where I am, and how to get back._

Now that she had something to occupy her hands and her mind, she felt in control and therefore, a tiny bit better.

Unnatural quiet and an eerie closeness pressed all around her as she worked, growing heavier by the minute. Her cheery fire, once she got it going, did little to restrain the pervasive damp and impending gloom of the dreary, imposing forest.

Kagome should have felt relaxed and cozy in front of the dancing flames, wrapped in her sleeping bag and bow by her side. Instead she was filled with apprehension. Every tree 'watched' as her imagination ran wild.

_If only I hadn't lost my ability to sense auras, then I'd _know_ if anything was out there. I'll never get to sleep in all this silence! _

She shivered as much from the icy tendrils of fear climbing her spine as she did from the opaque mist accumulating over the decaying matter on the ground. Suddenly she realized the chilling vapor wasn't everywhere, it was just near her. A malignant presence tickled the edge of her awareness… right behind her. Weapon in hand, she rocketed up off the ground, spinning to face the entity with arrow notched and bowstring drawn taut.

"Oh my gods… Sesshoumaru?!" For an instant she was actually relieved to see him. Then she remembered who he was, and that she was pointing a loaded weapon at him. Sheepishly, she lowered the bow.

_He hasn't changed a bit!_

It was true. He looked exactly the same from the last time she saw him, even though roughly five hundred years had passed for him. Silver hair and mokomoko whipped in the currents of his power. White silk fluttered where it was not held down by armor and his two swords rested at their place on his hip. The youki cloud remained gathered around his feet.

For a few long seconds he simply gazed at her, neither shocked nor indifferent. Finally he spoke.

"You are the miko who traveled with my brother, Inuyasha."

It was more statement than question, but she was so happy to see _anyone_, she answered anyway.

"YES! Yes, so good of you to remember! What are _you_ doing here?"

His eyes narrowed at her familiarity to him in both attitude and tone. Kagome understood immediately and bowed quickly while adding, "Sesshoumaru-sama."

This must have mollified him, as he deigned to answer her question. "This forest, and everything in it, is mine. Come here, girl."

Awe-struck by his beauty and power, no protest registered in her brain as Kagome's feet moved toward him, seemingly of their own accord. For a moment she stood in front of him and the next thing she knew, she was tucked up under his arm. They rose off the ground so swiftly, Kagome's stomach lurched and the bow slipped from her nerveless fingers. It tumbled end over end as it fell back to earth and smashed onto the ground.

That shook her out of her stupor. "Where are you taking me?" The words were ripped from her by the wind as soon as she uttered them. He didn't acknowledge her speaking, but she knew he heard her. As they gathered more speed, breathing became difficult and talking was impossible. He'd done that on purpose.

Heading directly for a huge bank of clouds in the distance, Kagome blinked rapidly to clear her streaming eyes. There appeared to be a mansion rising from the middle. Sesshoumaru slowed and began their descent.

Once settled in the courtyard, he walked toward the house. Kagome followed as she untangled her windswept hair with her fingers, not knowing what else to do.

_This must be his home! Funny, I always pictured him living in a castle of some sort._

He looked back at her and spoke as if he had read her mind. "We have kept up with the times."

Entering the foyer, Kagome immediately looked for Jaken and Rin. As Lord Sesshoumaru's retainer and ward, she expected them to come running and welcome the master home. When they didn't appear, she asked about them.

"Jaken was not a daiyoukai, and Rin was human. Though they have passed on, they remain with me still."

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" Kagome felt quite stupid.

It had been hundreds of years; of course they died. She thought it sweet he held their memories close, though 'sweet' and 'Sesshoumaru' in the same thought didn't feel right.

_There's more to him than I ever gave him credit for._

He led the way to a door off a modern and well-appointed kitchen. Opening it, he flipped the switch on the wall, illuminating the finished room at the bottom of the steps. Kagome cautiously followed him down. At the bottom she just stared, speechless.

She couldn't believe her eyes. Boxes and bags were stacked everywhere, over-spilling with miscellaneous items. It was apparent this was _his_ room, but it was packed to the ceiling with… stuff. The smell reminded her of a second-hand store.

There were little pathways that ran here and there throughout the massive piles in the huge basement, like a rabbit warren or a maze. A wider path led to the only clear area… a western-style futon couch in front of a massive T.V. screen.

While Kagome had been gawking all around her, Sesshoumaru dropped his swords and armor in a pile on the floor. He flopped onto the couch still wearing his mokomoko and turned on the T.V. Snow filled the screen until he pushed another remote and a video game started. He snatched a controller up and began playing _The Path of Supreme Conquest_, completely ignoring her.

Shrugging, she stepped away from the stairs, taking a closer look at the carefully stacked mountain closest to her. From what she could tell, it held sticks, assorted clothing, paper cups, pretty rocks, plastic bags and newspapers. She looked at the next stack. It was built of small toys, shoes, stuffed animals, dried flower wreaths, old steak bones, bottles and jars.

Kagome could see there was much more of the same throughout the entire room. It looked like he had saved absolutely everything he had ever come in contact with, even garbage. _Could there really be over five hundred years worth of crap down here!?_

"Sesshoumaru, why are we down here, and what is all this?"

He paused the game. "We are down here because this is where I live. These," he swept his arm across the expanse of the room, "are all my things."

"But you have a whole house upstairs. Why don't you live up there?"

He shook his head a couple times. "The house is my mother's. The basement is mine."

"Okaaaay."

Satisfied he had cleared her questions, he resumed his game.

_Sesshoumaru, the most powerful, fearsome demon I've ever met, still lives with his mother… in her basement._ Kagome had a hard time wrapping her brain around that.

Though he seemed completely absorbed in the game, Kagome wasn't all that interested in watching or playing. She wondered if he would permit her to explore. With so many centuries of stuff to look through, who knows what exciting treasures and artifacts were waiting to be uncovered?

"You mind if I poke around a little?"

"Hn."

Not knowing how to interpret that, she took it the way she wanted.

_Hmmm, where to start?_

Looking around she spied something familiar in a far corner peeking out from a conglomeration of armor. The Staff of Two Heads! Picking her way through the room, she eventually made her way back to it.

It looked the same as it ever did. She tried lifting it, but it was too heavy. She could barely budge it. Perhaps it was caught. Kagome began clearing the items away, only stopping for a moment when two green hands clutching it tightly appeared halfway down its length.

"Jaken?"

She laughed at herself. Of course it wasn't the kappa, just an _incredible_ likeness of him. Sesshoumaru must have respected him more than he let on, to have commissioned such a piece to honor the memory of his retainer. The artist either knew Jaken personally, or Sesshoumaru had a weird sense of humor, for the toad's 'beak' was sewn shut with X's using thick black cord. In life, he'd often spoken when he shouldn't have.

Delighted with her find, she wanted to continue searching, but it was late and she was tired. She left her treasure there and ran the maze back to the inuyoukai still playing video games.

"Um, I hate to interrupt, but it's getting late and I need to be getting back."

Sesshoumaru shut off the game and unfolded the futon, turning it into a bed.

"You can sleep here, with me."

He could see she was reluctant, perhaps misunderstanding his intentions. "I am not my father," he added while digging up blankets and pillows.

That did reassure her somewhat. At least she didn't have to worry about what she'd be sleeping in. Kagome had been wearing rather modest pajamas when she was taken from her camp.

She helped him make up the bed, and then climbed in, her back to the center. He turned off the light, leaving only the soft glow of a night light to cut the dark. She felt his weight settle in, his back up against hers.

_Never in a million years did I dream I'd share a bed with Sesshoumaru! I think I'll ask to stay another day before going back to my camp. I'd like to get to know him a little better and there's so much to discover in all these boxes. _She giggled to herself. _Well, they say dogs are possessive… I guess that's true!_

No sooner had she gotten comfortable, she discovered she had to go to the bathroom. There was no use in ignoring it until morning; she was going to have to get up. Slipping out of bed, she tentatively looked around for one. Unable to find it in the half-light, she tip-toed over to Sesshoumaru's side to wake him and ask for help. He was curled around something he held, nose tucked in, fast asleep. He looked so peaceful, she hated to rouse him.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?"

He grunted, but slept on.

She shook his shoulder lightly. "Sesshoumaru!"

That worked. He blinked drowsily, then stretched out his spine and gave Kagome his full attention. Except now she couldn't remember what she was wanted to ask. She could only stare at what he'd been cuddling as he slept. Even in the dim light, it was plain he'd been holding onto Rin… or what she'd been fashioned into. A stuffed doll made from her tanned hide, with wide unseeing glass eyes and lips sewn shut with big black X's.

Kagome recoiled in terror. "Take me back…" she whispered in a hoarse voice. "TAKE ME BACK NOW!"

Sesshoumaru covered his sensitive ears to protect them from her shouting. His eyes bled red as he turned into the demon she recognized from her feudal days.

"Everything in the forest is MINE! You will remain _here_, with me. You cannot escape this house. You cannot hurt me. Since losing the Jewel, you no longer have purifying powers. And _if_ you continue to scream and shout, I will leave you to Mother!" Pointing to Rin's mouth he hissed, "She has _ways_ to silence you. Resign yourself gracefully to your fate and go back to sleep!"

With that said, he regained control of himself. Sighing heavily, he rolled over, tucking Rin in close.

Kagome sank to the floor in shock and crab-walked backwards until she hit something solid, never taking her eyes off him.

_Go back to sleep? How could she when all she wanted to do was wake up from this horrible nightmare?_

_*****_

A/N: This won first, yay! Thank-you for poking the brain Noacat! :)


	16. Bad Karma

**Prompt:** For Keeps  
**Word Count:** 987  
**Genre:** Dark Humor  
**Rating:** T  
**Warning:** Character Death  
**Date Posted:** 5/9/10

He hid, watched and waited. True to his ilk, he was the epitome of stealth and discipline.

Considered 'evil' in a past life, his punishment was to endure this incarnation, diminished considerably from what he'd once been.

Though he was confined to this detestable reduced form, he realized he still held a force that didn't need size or strength. It was a simple power but there was none stronger, and used for the purpose he planned, those responsible for his downfall would not escape his revenge.

Bent on retribution, he continued practicing his skills of deception, manipulation, and death… putting nothing to 'good' use. In this manner, he created an endless cycle of birth, death and birth again as the centuries passed.

Now that all the pieces were in place, the wait was finally over.

* * *

A door opened. Timing it right, he slipped through it, unseen.

Her cell phone rang. She already knew who it was. Flipping it open, she saw she was right.

"Hello?"

The rich deep voice on the other end sent a thrill skittering down her back, as it always did.

"Miko. Are you leaving work soon? Females in your condition need to reduce their stress, eat regularly, and rest often."

Kagome sighed in an amused way while a smile crept across her features. He was so protective, but in such a sweet manner.

"Are you reading that book again? You need to give _it_ a rest, to reduce _your_ stress or it's gonna be toast! Mmmm… toast," she said, a playful tone evident in her voice.

"Hn."

"Okay, okay," she laughed, "Yes, I'm on my way. Oh! Can we go for cheeseburgers? Maybe with pickles, and milkshakes! Oh, I have such a taste for that!"

She heard him chuckle. "I can deny you nothing. Cheeseburgers and milkshakes sound good."

There was a pause. "The book _said_ you would begin to have cravings…"

He smirked when he heard her snort derisively as she hung up. He hadn't told her the new car they ordered came in. He'd let her know over dinner. They could go pick it up from the dealership tomorrow.

Kagome packed up her briefcase and wished her co-workers a good weekend before heading to the parking lot. Her car, a cute little green VW Bug--only five years old--was due to be replaced any day.

Sesshoumaru wanted to ensure the safety of his family to the highest standards of the automotive industry. After much discussion, negotiating and compromising, he bought her a vehicle as close to a disguised tank as she would allow… a red Honda CR-V EX.

As much as she hated giving up her first car, she shared his concern. The Bug was small and had a terrible crash-test rating, more important now that they were responsible for a new life.

Kagome fondly spread her fingers over her expanding abdomen. After three years of trying, month after month of disappointment and heartache, they were finally going to be parents. They didn't know if they were having a boy or a girl… and didn't care.

She thought it rather cute the way his protective side kicked into overdrive, and how hard he held it in check. Naturally there were varying degrees of success. So she gave in to the new car; he had to win once in a while, right?

Tossing her briefcase into the back seat, she angled herself behind the wheel. Buckling the seatbelt, she turned the key and adjusted the music for her drive home in rush-hour traffic. Decent music was absolutely essential for calmly dealing with the competitive mentality of crazy drivers all making a mad dash to get out of the city at the same time.

She pulled smoothly onto the road and began heading home. Once she was away from downtown, the drive would become much more pleasant.

Suburban neighborhoods dotting the landscape left and right would gradually trickle away, as a denser tree-line began dominating the scenery. This was her favorite part of the commute and she looked forward to it every day. Not only was it beautiful in every season, but it was a sign she was only five minutes from home.

One last lane change for her exit would have her free of the concrete jungle.

Kagome turned her head to glance at her blind-spot. Traffic was normally heavy but today she never noticed if the lane was clear or not. Crouching on her shoulder, right in front of her face, was a huge black spider. She freaked out, all reason fleeing.

Fear rendered her brain useless as she flailed mindlessly at the malevolent enemy with one hand, sub-consciously yanking the steering wheel hard with the other.

Screams, screeching tires and ripping metal were the last things heard before a flash of light exploded and Death swept in.

* * *

"I'm sorry, the trade-in value is ruined."

Ridiculous. As if he _cared _about something so insignificant.

Sesshoumaru pulled Kagome closer into his arms, burying his nose into her neck and inhaling deeply. His worst fear almost came true today, but he would take steps to see this never happened again.

"Miko, the car is nothing. I am forever grateful to the gods you only scraped along a side rail. I _would_ request you to take a class to confront your arachnophobia. Please. I could not bear to lose you to something so trivial."

Shaken by her near-miss, Kagome had to agree. Panicking, then purifying a common spider was a dangerous over-reaction on her part. Besides… he _did_ say 'Please'.

* * *

Deep under the eaves of a quaint suburban house, a small white sac split wide open. Thousands of dark spiderlings poured out, scrambling forth quickly to escape each other's hunger and seek safe refuge. One of the hordes again, Naraku, cursed to be aware of both past and present, climbed a silken thread… his mind still bent on revenge.

A/N: This won a joint third place with Beermoney5! (If you like Sess/Kag and horses, go check out her The Sport of Kings!) Thanks for reading! :)


	17. Growing a Conscience

Prompt: Conscience  
Word Count: 890  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: K  
Warning: A miko is on the warpath.  
Summary: Sometimes choosing the right path needs a little push.  
Date Posted: 6/17/10

* * *

Kagome kissed his cheek right before she left to do a little shopping. "I'll be back shortly, be good and I'll buy you a treat while I'm out!"

"Which vehicle are you taking?"

"Vehicle. Really Sesshoumaru, just say 'car'. I'd planned on taking mine, why? Did you need my baby for something?"

He snorted. Her 'baby' was a powder pink Volkswagon Bug with flower decals. He could barely fold himself into it, even if he'd wanted to. It wasn't exactly the type of vehicle a powerful Daiyoukai wanted to be seen driving around town. No one would dare laugh to his face, but they'd all be smirking behind their hands.

"Of course not, I simply noticed it was running roughly. I will have it delivered to the mechanic if you take another _car_."

Kagome shot him a questioning look and shook her head. "There's nothing wrong with Pinky. She's fine! Stop worrying, I'll be back soon." With a smile and a small wave, she slipped out the door.

The dog demon sighed. Well, perhaps she won't notice…

An outraged shriek from the garage told a different story.

The door opened suddenly, slamming up against the wall so hard it bounced closed again, but not before Kagome was already through it. She glowered at him, breathing hard and ragged, like an angry rhinoceros. Pointing a dangerous finger at him she ground out, "I can't believe you would _do_ such a thing!"

She noticed.

While moving a few gardening tools in the garage that morning, he had accidently scraped a weed digger down the driver side door, leaving a long deep scratch in the paint. He was hoping he could get the vehicle in and repaired before she saw it.

"Miko, I can explain…"

"Don't you _dare_ 'Miko' me! I can't believe you'd try to cover for him! Your devotion to each other is positively unnatural! I _know_ Jaken did this on purpose… he's never liked me, never liked Pinky, and _never_ accepted that we are together now! This is the last straw; I'll purify him down to a tiny little ash pile!"

She tilted her head up to the ceiling so she could be heard through all floors. "YOU HEAR ME, BUG-BREATH? YOU BETTER BE RUNNIN' CAUSE I'M GUNNIN' FOR YOU!"

Sesshoumaru winced as both her voice and purification powers rose to hazardous levels. Before he could react, Hurricane Kagome was already storming through the house on her toad-stomping search-and-destroy mission.

She's blaming this on his retainer? _I am one lucky dog,_ he thought, _to narrowly dodge that arrow!_

*POOF!*

Miniature Rin appeared as a child on his right shoulder. She was dressed in the familiar orange and white kimono, a beautiful wreath of fresh flowers on her head. Her adoring eyes were trained on his, hopeful he would make the right decision.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, you're going to tell Kagome-chan it was you, aren't you? Master Jaken shouldn't bear her wrath for something he didn't do."

Sesshoumaru reluctantly had to admit she was right. Jaken, currently out on the grounds somewhere, was safe for the moment. It would be a little while before Kagome cleared the whole house.

He could still hear her ripping open doors and tearing through closets, cursing and muttering about the numerous ways his retainer was going to suffer. It might be wise to let her to run out of steam first. In the meantime he could devise a good story about why he didn't tell her of the scratch right away.

*POOF*

A teeny-tiny demon popped up on his left shoulder, taking the form of Sengoku Sesshoumaru, complete with full battle armor, Tokijin, and missing arm.

"You would bow to and obey _anyone_, let alone a female? You _were_ Inu-daiyoukai! What have you become, a whimpering house-dog! What is the purpose of the kappa, but to serve you in all ways? Let him shoulder the responsibility for this minor matter. For all you have provided him, he should _willingly_ sacrifice his honor, and his life, for yours."

Hn. Put that way, perhaps he _should_ just keep quiet and let the toad take the heat. It wasn't as if Jaken didn't have it coming to him. The imp made it his business to devil Kagome regularly in hundreds of small ways (Sesshoumaru secretly found his ingenuity amusing). Unjust punishment would be karma catching up with him, wouldn't it?

The figments of his imagination faded away as he made his choice.

Sesshoumaru mentally shrugged. It's not that he was _afraid_ of his mate's towering rage or anything… but allowing Jaken to take the blame wasn't the _worse_ thing he'd ever done. What was the harm in it, really? If Kagome actually succeeded in killing his retainer-which he doubted, as it was against her nature to commit murder-all he had to do was swipe away the underworld demons with Tenseiga and restore the toad to life.

Shame it could only be used once on each individual. Sesshoumaru might enjoy watching his mate dispatch the imp on those days he was being extra-annoying.

A long-forgotten memory tickled his brain just as he heard a door slam and felt Jaken's aura inside the house. He knew Kagome felt it too as she rushed toward it with blood in her eye.

Sesshoumaru hoped he could make it in time. "Kagome! WAIT!"

* * *

A/N: He makes it by the way... Jaken doesn't get purified. I know you were worried. Thanks for reading!


	18. Selfish Desires

Prompt: Satisfaction  
Word Count: 515  
Rating: T  
Genre: Naughty Humor  
Warning: 69  
Summary: Sesshoumaru gets what he wants.  
Date Posted: 5/5/11

* * *

If the moans and groans emanating from him were reliable indicators, the demon lord was thoroughly enjoying his wife's focused attention. Perhaps a little too much… her diligent ministrations were quickly bringing his Point of No Return to a head.

Just then, in the critical moment he was about to cross over that peak, Kagome's warm, wet mouth left his groin-much to his dismay-and she began putting that talented tongue to work in his least favorite manner.

"Sesshoumaru, this position is supposed to provide _mutual_ satisfaction. You're supposed to be giving _while_ you're receiving! Whatever it is you're doing back there, or _not_ doing, is doing nothing for me!"

The last thing he wanted right now was a lecture about selfish behavior or an argument he wasn't going to win. He pushed her head back down toward his straining erection and hurriedly applied himself to the task he had been neglecting. It only took a few good strokes from _his_ talented tongue before she seemed properly mollified.

"Mmmmm… Now _that's_ what I'm talking about!"

Thankfully, she quickly forgave his lapse and put her mouth to his preferred use, sliding his turgid length past her lips once more. He half-heartedly tried to ignore how _wonderful_ it felt, but it was difficult, especially when she grazed or nipped him with her blunt little teeth. It didn't take long before he was once again concentrating solely on building into his own climax and completely slacking off where she was concerned.

She growled her displeasure and Sesshoumaru felt her mouth begin to pull away-presumably to complain again-but this time he was ready. His hand came down on the back of her head, keeping her in place while he bucked hard a couple more times before erupting into the back of her throat. Kami, she felt good…

Too wrapped up in the pleasurable aftershocks, her coughing and sputtering didn't register. He also failed to notice how angry she was until she was on his chest and in his face.

"**What** was _that_? Don't you dare think you're just going to roll over and go to sleep...This whole 69 thing was your idea to begin with. You got yours, now I want mine!"

He yawned wide and turned, tipping her off to the side. "Miko, what we did was 68, not 69. I apologize, but it is your own fault. If you did not perform so well, I would lose neither my concentration nor my control so easily."

She gaped at him, incredulous. "What to you mean, 68?"

He settled his weight and slowly closed his eyes, "That is where you blow me and I owe you one."

As he drifted off to sleep, he listened to her rant with a big smile on his face.

"Don't give me that load of nonsense! You're not a dog; you're a gravy-sucking pig! If this is the way it's going to be, we'll never do _that_ again! Next time, I'm getting mine first! We'll just see who rolls over and goes to sleep then, oh yes we will…"

* * *

A/N: The Contest # was 69 and the prompt Satisfaction... I couldn't help myself! This won first place, hooray! Thanks for reading and for your patience during my sporadic updates. :)


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